Negativity Culture The Palmer Report

Bill Palmer Has A Five Point Problem

Written By: A Monican Spy
Date: July 25, 2019

First off, the headline is a parody of his usual drivel. If you've seen this guy online you've probably clicked one of the many "trending topics" on Twitter in the last four years (Since Trump's Presidency). I wanted to add this guy to the list of people that suck because he does but it's a more brief problem than a long expansive one because this guy is so fucking stale and boring it's hard to dig at concise issues as they all cascade into one problem (not five) but his presence on Twitter is so overstated.

Trump Obsession This Twitter slime is probably the most redundant trash on the entire platform. It's actually amazing he has followers because he spams his Trump obsessed website about 20-30 times an hour.. no literally. I've never seen somebody suck the teet of Donald Trump's presidency like this guy that you can guarantee that he HOPES and PRAYS that "The Donald" gets elected to a second term just so he can continue down the shit spiral that has caused him a following in the first place. Every day this stupid mother fucker wakes up he posts something about how "It's still only [insert time]" with a laundry list of what he calls "Trumps day so far". About every trending topic has some sensationalist driven cry for Donald Trump to be put in jail or impeached as if it's really going to happen any day now. ANY DAY NOW.. (4 Years Later) *crickets*

Bill Palmer's Trump Plan I'm not gonna link this twinkle dick's website but if you click "Bill Palmer" on his site it's like looking at a photo album courtesy of Trump himself. Endless are the articles capturing the minds of people stupid enough to beleive that the "Blue Wave" is the answer to the corrupt political and corporate structure that runs America's machine. He might actually be stupid enough to believe it but if you are jaded by this guy's antics you might have a dust bunny lodged in your brain that is in need of vacuuming. He's trying to use this Presidency for profit, nothing more. He's another "journalist" that has no interest in the truth and uses sensationalism to drive the even more stupid followers into a tail spin. I honestly don't get it. These below the mainstream media threshold reporters are everywhere and because everybody is so saddened and angered by every breath Trump takes that they deal with these low level toads on their feeds. This needledick follows 186.4K people as of this article's publish date and has 275K followers. Typically these jerks will play the follow/unfollow game to aim toward a higher follow count.

The Palmer Formula The formula is simple.

  • 1. You attach your penis to political outrage.
  • 2. Follow every NPC in every hashtag possible dealing in political outrage.
  • 3. Wait for the return "high five"/same team follow.
  • 4. Start to let go of your following count.
  • 5. Appear to have massive following purge after purge (there is a limit per day you can unfollow).
  • 6. ????
  • 7. PROFIT!

Political Vampire Palmucard Don't attach your red white and blue to this guy's penis. It's not worth allowing these shit stirrers to be supported by your clicks. They are toads and they live and survive on your daily self-prescribed outrage by these spin doctors. They are there to drive you into insanity while they sit back drinking a Schlitz beer and eating $1 chicken wings in a bar while you scream your lungs out at the computer/mobile screen. These people have no problem if your life entirely consisted of outage. They are using you. They are profiting off using you. Stop it. Get off the Trump train, if you're in support of or not. There is two trains travelling in opposite directions in this political divide and both of them are about to collide because they are ALL on the same track.

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